Petals off the Raven's Rose

Petal Seventeen

2008-05-15T14:02:00.001+08:00

Are you Religious, Mike?

someone asked me that recently.
i havent thought about that in a very very long time.
but what does it mean to be religious?
i really dont know. i thought i did. but i dont.
i thought it meant doing all the stuff that the faith asked us to do.
i did do those things.
well the easy ones at least.
stuff like going to church, going for confession & praying.
that was the easy part.
there was even a time in my life that i went to church everyday.
there was even a time in my life that i went for confession regularly.
there was even a time in my life that i prayed at least twice a day and went for prayer meetings at least twice a week.
and when i mean pray, i dont mean hope for something to happen.
just pray.
but did that make me a better man?
i dont think so.
after i came out of the church, confession or prayer, i was still the same man.
nothing changed.
nothing at all.
i lived a hypocrite's life.
to err is human.
yes.
and i erred a lot.
i confessed my errs.
but i did them again.
so what was the point?
the church could not change the way i see things and the way i felt things.
they eventually became routine.
many of the people around me show no difference.
infact, some of them are worse.
some perform acts and rituals that are likely done by the devout ones.
and what do they do after that?
they gossip
they insult
they say , therefore think, of dirt
they lie
they look down upon others
they cheat
they close their minds
and for what?
because they know that all sins will be forgiven?
because they enjoy the feeling of remorse?
i honestly dont know.
they do the exact same things that other less religious people do.
a lie straight in the face of the faith.
infact, the same person who posed me that question is no different.
so am i religious?
i think someone has to explain to me first exactly what being religious means.
then i can give an answer.

-FIN-

Petal Sixteen

2007-02-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

Little Boy on the Moon

when i was a young one, there was someone
who once had told me
that all of these faces, frm diferent places
are out to tell me

the pain in their lives, through their eyes
can disapear in a dream
but then i was older, so much bolder
then i started to hear the screams

and then i cried out

little boy on the moon
you showed me what it takes to fly
you told me that it is inside

little boy on the moon
you showed me what my dreams could be
you took my hand when i couldnt breathe

little boy on the moon
wont you come down here for the very first time
and see that life is not just a merry go round

he tried to convince me, no matter how we
spend our nights in the cold
theres always one way, in any given day
that the crying just gets too old

but when i look back, and try to see that
everybody still has a hold
i only see one thing, their true feelings
that the sorrows are always untold

and so i shout out

little boy on the moon
you showed me what it takes to fly
you told me that it is inside

little boy on the moon
you showed me what my dreams could be
you took my hand when i couldnt breathe

little boy on the moon
wont you come down here for the very first time
and see that life is not just a merry go round

little boy, take a look around
do you see the cries behind the smiles
do you see the plea behind the free
little boy, little boy
the moon is just a place of gold
why dont you live your life on this road

and so he took my advice, without thinking twice
to prove what he believed
the cries through the streets, of all the sufferings
pearced his heart through his ears

and less than a day pass, with all the contrasts
he gave his soul to the wind
little boy little boy
you only belong in a dream

-FIN-

Petal Fifteen

2006-11-28T00:00:00.001+08:00

The Cub and His Teeth

there was this lion cub born into this world by the fiercest of lions. his father conquered lands far and wide. all this made possible by his awesome strength and mighty set of teeth. the little cub knew this and had faith in his teeth. little that he was, his teeth were no where near the strength of his father's, but he already believed in them alot. he would go out to the edge of the coves all alone and not afraid because he knew that his teeth are his best friends against any problem he will face. he went to the end of the coves by himself usualy through out the whole day. no insect, no terrain and no animal could scare the little cub cause he had so much faith in his teeth. all he had to do was growl at whatever threat he sees and the threat, although seeing the tiny teeth, get scared by his courage and guts.

one day, the little cub finally found a place where he has never seen before at the end of the coves. a little passage way that looked like a window to a vast land mass. being the curious little thing he was, he ran straight, teeth at the ready without any fear, into the open forest. he ventured deeper and deeper snarling at animals and such that were on his way. his confidence grew ever so greatly. by his second visit, he was venturing as far as the water holes where he was told of creatures he has never seen before. and they were right.

at the water holes there were creatures in all sorts of shapes and sizes. the young one was indeed amazed. creatures taller, bigger, faster and weirder than his father were roaming about. there was one particular looking creature that lounged near by with its mouth wide open. the young one, preparing his awesome teeth, moved closer to the weird and lazy one. just a few feet from its mouth, the long snout of the green creature snapped and almost clipped the young cub's ears. there was panic everywhere. animals running about in different directions. the young cub faced the alien as it once again opened its jaws wide and get off its belly. by then fear had crept all over the spine of the young cub. but he remembered his teeth. with so much confidence that his teeth will always be there to save him, he puckered his lips, curled it, flared his nose and showed his teeth with the loudest growl he could muster. two moments later, an aligator in africa was done with his lunch and off to bask in the sun again.

never have faith on ur teeth.

-FIN-

Petal Forteen

2006-10-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

Straight Out of the Mind

the rose.
isnt it a beautiful flower?
how about just a rose.
isnt that a beautiful art piece?
just a single stalk, a few leaves here and there, and the rose petals wide open to embrace the sun.
perfect picture.
but what if we take that stalk and wrap a nice plastic around it along with other smaller flowers to emphasize the presence of the rose?
is it still a perfect picture?
maybe.
now what if we take that wraped rose and place it sumwhere with a dull and calm background and take a picture of it?
is it still a beautiful picture?
maybe.
what if we now take that photograph, add some borders to it and stick it inside a picture frame?
wouldnt that just make it a perfect picture of a rose?
i guess so.
but where is the rose now?
its lost in the picture.
we all know its there, and we know that that is what we are looking at, but is it really what we wanted to look at in the first place?
the beauty of the rose does not lie in the ability of it to make anything look good.
its beauty lies in its ability to hold chaos in simplicity, elegance and grace.
simplicity at its finest.
is a rose stalk in a bush.

-FIN-

Petal Thirteen

2006-10-07T09:01:00.000+08:00

Straight Out of the Mind

petal thirteen. one three. my favourite number.
i planned to write something awesome for this petal. but cant think of anything.
petal thirteen. one three. my favourite number.
letter m's position in the alphabet.
my birth date in the british calender.
and the beginning of life for most young men, or so they think.
they think being a teen makes them invincible.
even until now. im not a teen anymore but i still think im freaking invincible.
what makes me invincible?
every body else's weakness.
i feed off it.
miserable people need more miserable people to make themselves feel good.
i bet theres something you cant do that i can do.
and that makes me invincible.
but what about the things i cant do?
fudge it.
those are the things that make u invincible.
for example, im not good at math.
im not good in chemistry.
im not good at keeping the house clean.
i have very little discipline.
very stubborn.
my word given to anyone is not much use; either i forget to keep it, or i forget i was told.
i have never gotten high grades for school shit.
im not good at basketball.
not good at tennis.
not good at bowling.
not good at pool.
not good at soccer.
dont know how to do proper house wiring.
dont know how to cook anything other than eggs.
dont know how to do proper carpentering.
dont know how to drive.
all that and more makes me a weakling just like everybody else.
but what matters is i still think im invincible.
no matter what i cant do, theres something i can kick ur ass with at any time.

-FIN-

Petal Twelve

2006-08-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

Jelousy

why?
why be jelous?
jelous of the ppl around u?
jelous of the friends around u?
jelous of the things u do?
jelous of the things done to u?
or just jelous that ur having a good time and im not?

is it jelousy in he first place?
why would it be?
should it be?
ive got better shit going on.
pained?
pained for being left out?
pained for being unnoticed?
pained for being blamed for something done in the past and is done by you now?
pained for not being to say that?
or just pained to have shit come around?

is it just pain?
could it be sadness too?
who gives a shit anyway?
haha..
y r u reading this crap anyway?
its all bull shit..
im dry..
dead dry..
nothing productive to write anymore..
good night, evening or day..

-FIN-

Petal Eleven

2006-02-12T19:47:00.000+08:00

According to Raphael Angelo Fernandez Rios

"there's no such thing as a timeline.
there's only a time loop.
why do you think watches are round?"

-FIN-

Petal Ten

2005-09-15T20:34:00.001+08:00

Revanos Vs Gegorios (PI)

in the age of greek mythology, there were 2 titans unheard of; revanos and gegorios.

gegorios' creator was unknown yet he existed. it was said that gegorios would always appear in battles against oranos or loke. but no one knew which god sumons him. and no one knew which side he was fighting for. gegorios was an awesome titan; with the strength of millions, an agility unmatched by any titan and the wisdom and age of the mountains.

revanos was created when zues' lightning missed its mark and sturck one of gaia's spells as it was deflected by the shield of osyrus. the mixture of aura and power of zues' lightning, gaia's life giving spell and osyrus' rays bounced off the cliff of one of olympus' canyon and hit a raven flying through. the rock face came to life and a titan was born; revanos.

revanos was unlike most titans. titans were usually as tall as the hills of ophrema and as strong as the gods. revanos stood only as tall as a collosus yet had the powers of a demi-god. titans were sumoned and could be fully controlled by their creator. revanos had no specific creator and thus made him uncrontolable by any.

as revanos was born during a battle in the heavens, no one noticed his arival. none but peratules. peratules was a demi-god. he shared the powers of heracles. but unlike heracles, his father was not zeus.

they hid in the mountains of lemetha for fear of being captured and put under control. peratules was not a warrior nor a fighter. a demi-god he was, and a very lazy one at that. so they did what they wanted to do, when they wanted to, where they wanted to and how they wanted to for as long as they will remain unheard of.

for decades and decades they did the same thing everyday. no one ever came through the mountains for fear of cyclops tribes or wild behemoths. as for the cyclops and behemoths that revanos and peratules encountered, they were wiped out by the two's magnificent powers.

one night, oranos decided to take on olympus using a detour. and the detour route passed through the mountains of lementha. oranos prepared his army. he was well equiped with all sorts of monstrosities and weapons. titans of diferent elements were on his side and were ready to crush mount olympus.

revanos and peratules were unaware of their guest. sorion, a sentaur scout of oranos, spotted them resting in a cave. sorion reported to oranos seeing 2 of zeus' out post guards taking a nap. oranos assembled his men and took to the cave.

blood was spilt. a third of oranos' army were killed, three titans were crippled, twenty behemoth warriors remained breathless, forty cyclops fighters were mutilized and one demi-god existed no more. peratules has died. killed defending his friendship with revanos. oranos was weakened and had to retreat. as for revanos, he was a lone titan, wounded, friendless and had no where to go.

at the edge of lementha was a lake where revanos healed his wounds. through the bushes emerged a lemora. she was an outstanding lemora. hair as red as blood, skin as smooth as pearl and eyes like stars. lemoras were never known to be shy nor weak. they were a vicious breed of jungle women. born out of flowers and raised in the jungle under the protection of gaia. the lemora aided revanos in his healing for lemoras could rejuvinate any living thing with a touch of their skin.

revanos, though he was a titan, learned to have feelings and emotions like a human or a god. and at that point in time, revanos was afraid, lonely and shaken. the lemora was what he needed. an ear. a companion. a friend.

in time the lemora and revanos were the new duo; arosa and revanos. arosa revealed that she was once a tribe queen exiled out of the jungle for being framed. he also learned about oranos and zeus. the never ending battle between the gods of good and the goods of evil. he learned about titans and for the first time new what he was. he learned to have more feelings and soon knew that arosa was to be a companion for as long as he breathed.

oranos did not forget about revanos. oranos knew that revanos, although a small titan, was stronger than any three of his put together. he made up his mind to control revanos before tacking the throne of zeus. he rebuilt his army and set forth into the mountains of lementha and searched high and low for the powerful titan. soon they were running out of land and had to venture into the jungle of siphorah, a jungle controlled by gaia and a place were lemoras roamed.

oranos destroyed every village he crossed and killed everyone on sight that was not carrying his flag. gaia was of no match against oranos and could not fight back. her titans were outnumbered and destroyed. soon the whole jungle of siphorah was in flames and blood.

arosa and revanos soon found out of the troubles in the jungle. arosa had to go back and try and save her people, or what's left of them. to their surprise, oranos had his hands full. on their arival, gegorios was aiding gaia and fighting off every oranos warrior. revanos and arosa put their powers to use and defeated oranos once again.

gaia, gegorios, arosa and revanos helped revive the city and villages of siphorah and by the time they were through, they have become best of friends.

but gegorios had a liking for arosa. though arosa and revanos shared a mutual liking, revanos knew there was more to like about gegorios.

-UNFIN-

Petal Nine

2005-07-20T18:45:00.000+08:00

The Black Rose

here it is,
the black rose.
once was a magestic rose of the raven,
now, out of strength,
out of hope,
out of life.

alone in the forest of the dead,
the raven's rose ruled over all that flourish.
like a sky that has bled,
like a diamond in the rough,
like an oasis in the desert,
now, like the dust on a rock.

oh yes, the raven's rose ruled them all.
no growth can outgrow,
no light can be brighter,
no joy can be happier.
now, no sorrow can be sadder.

for the rose of the raven is forever living.
to withstand the test of time and space.
it can not dry out or wilt.
and because of this,
its very soul wishes against it's will.

like a dead salmon washed out of a stream,
like a ruffled leaf blown out by the wind,
like a spirit that was never meant to be.

but through all this pain of the rose,
it must carry on.
for it can not die.
out of life, it is,
from the inside, it is.

no more the bright light of the forest.
no more the colors of the rainbow.
no more the majestic rose of the raven.
no more than a rose.
just a rose.
a black rose.

-FIN-

Petal Eight

2005-07-08T18:01:00.000+08:00

Straight Out of the Mind

ages, no?
apperantly.
weeks and months.
did not really think of writing untill a friend told me that they will delete the account if i dont sign in.
tada!
hear i am.
good as new.
better than the old.
but nothing new.
just like before.

my title is normally very related to my entry.
sadly there isnt much coming out of my head right now.
just gonna write crap.
would you guys care to listen?
lemme warn you its a waste of time.

back ache.
terrible terrible.
repeat.
record.
files?
no, books.
ash tray.
yoshis.
lighters.
red.
a gift.
wanti.
i miss her.
i love her.
marry her?
definatley.
why?
cause i love her.
why?
cause i do.
oh.
dumb reason, no?
dont think so.
think.
nothing here.
nothing there.
always.
lazy.
tired.
work.
job.
chemical engineer.
lawyer.
attorney.
prosecuter.
lies.
lots of lies.
very very bad.
tsk tsk.
ever lied?
plenty.
very good at it.
stole money.
stole cds.
stole shirts.
stole accesories.
stole food.
stole cigarettes.
why?
for fun.
cheap thrills.
bored.
play.
game?
basketball.
inexperienced.
experience.
plenty.
fights.
drugs.
love.
drunk.
punch drunk love.
wierd movie.
renee zelweger.
nice eyes.
very nice.
like dolls.
barbie.
dumb blonde.
hilton?
paris.
france.
country.
war.
civil war.
hide or fight?
stupid.
clever.
not me.
iq?
eq?
never found out.
secrets.
truth.
very nice.
best answer.
solution to questions.
physics?
stupid.
mechanics?
stupider.
math?
stupidest.
english?
no word to use.
too bad.
nickel back.
nickel.
5 or 10 cents?
coins.
legs.
dance moves.
wade?
no.
usher?
no.
MJ?
no.
me?
maybe.
sure.
confused.
blanks.
bullets?
painfull.
no, killing.
bad?
very bad.
very very bad.
hell.
heaven.
sky.
clouds.
can u reach?
not yet.
practice.
perfection.
aswanti.
beautiful angel.
yours?
as far as i know.
vice-versa?
i am hers.
i am boy.
i am man.
not woman?
not girl?
britney spears.
publicity stunt.
famous.
actors and actresses.
man and woman
superman?
no, normal.
express.
special.
spaysial.
what?
SPAYSIAL!
whats that?
SPAYSIAL!!
hahahahahahahaha
i love you honey

-FIN-

Petal Seven

2005-01-27T01:05:00.000+08:00

Love

this isnt an emo shit, but yeah..
ever thought of what's love?
for some, yeah.
for some, no.
for some, they don't really give a shit.
for me, yeah. quite an awful bit too.

have i found love?
im afraid to say yes.
i wouldn't say yes if i didn't know what it is.

so what is love?
like i said, i'm not too sure.
to me love is more of an energy.
something you feel, obviously.
a feeling that you care for someone deeply.
not just care as in you help out a friend when he/she is in trouble.
or wonder where he/she is when he/she is missing.
more like care as in whether or not he/she is doing ok.
ok i need to stop with the "he/she" thing.
its getting redundant and tiring.
more like caring about whether she has eaten or something.
love makes you think of her almost all the time when there is nothing in your mind.
so maybe love is an energy.
or maybe its a thought.
or maybe its just another type of care.
as in caring for some one in a higher level.
argh. i just made myself confused again.
what the heck.
makes this entry kind of useless doesn't it?
oh well.
what ever love is, i'm almost pretty sure i have it.
that doesn't sound right.
what ever love is, i'm almost pretty sure i found it.

love.
all i can say is i love my girl.
i love her to bits.
don't wanna get too mushy.
she knows i do.
and i know she feels the same way.

ok. too mushy already.
mushy shit should be kept private.
sorry folks.
thats the last you've heard ot the emo crap.. i hope.

love.
if any of you find out what it is, tell me.

-FIN-

Petal Six

2005-01-16T22:52:00.000+08:00

Was It There

sunrise and sunset
happens every damn day. cant miss it.
or can you?

air we breathe
appreciate it? really?
no way.

unappreciated things.
everyone has something they have but dont really know its there.
a toy, files in the com, pics in an album, a relative, a loved one...
find that something you never really knew was there for you.
make sure its acknowledged before its too late.
hug that toy, back up that file, scan the pics, call the relative or say 'i love you' to that special someone.
won't take long.
an hour or so, a few minutes, a few seconds.
cherish that moment.
it may never come again.

-FIN-

Petal Five

2004-10-29T02:52:00.000+08:00

Straight Out of the Mind - Super Man

just watched smallville.
the one where clark gets hit by lightning trying to save this kid from falling off a bridge.
in doing so his powers got transfered.
and super man learns to live life the normal human way.
sucks for him doesn't it?
but hah! your turn to have some mr kent.
but what if the powers came to me?!
wohoo.
everyone wishes for that.
i never have to do anything the hard way anymore.
best part is, i could see my girl anytime i wanted to.
cool huh?
yeah.
i wish.
but life isn't like that, is it?
no. no. no.
its not.
life has just a way of biting u right in the ass.
everyone's been bitten before.
definatley.
can't meet anyone who hasn't been.
if not, he/she is gonna be.
most have been bitten over and over and over.
and somehow it gets worse and worse everytime.
can't run away.
just gotta get used to the bite and use it as a kick.
a kick that says 'watch it, mike, im right here'.

-FIN-

Petal Four

2004-10-07T14:47:00.000+08:00

Bullets

flesh on metal,
metal on pin,
pin on powder,
powder turn fire,
fire on metal,
metal on flesh.

how easy it is to take a life.
but so difficult to lead one.
death comes in the end of life.
like a long race.
obstacles on the way and the reaper at the finish.
so why run this race?
cant escape it, can you?
some say there is more at the finsih line.
some say that's where it all ends.
the finish line.
what proof is there that there are no supporters waiting for you in the end.
familiar faces giving you hugs and kisses.
are the obstacles over come worth the hugs and kisses?
maybe.
maybe not.
after all, if you cant over come a big enough obstacle, won't the race end anyway?

-FIN-

Petal Three

2004-09-29T01:56:00.000+08:00

Little Lady Bug

hallo little lady bug, ive been waiting for you today,
you never said good bye, the last time you went away.
where have you been to, little spotted insect,
the sun has been up so long, probably got lost, i bet.

here i am big red flower, no i wasnt lost,
winter came too early, i just had to fight a frost.
dont worry red flower, im back now and im staying,
keeping you company, till that bird stops singing.

did you hear that little lady bug, i heard a loud bang,
sounds like that human hunter, out with his dog fang.
oh no little lady bug, i saw something drop,
looks like the blue bird, that has been singing at the top.

the birds have stopped singing, i guess i have to go,
dont worry big red flower, theres something i want you to know.
ill only be leaving for a while, ill be back when the birds are here,
but in the mean time, you can enjoy some of this beer.

-FIN-
(p.s. who ever leaves a comment, please leave a name)

Petal Two

2004-09-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

A What

was walking by my car park a few nights back
heard the sounds of rythmic hammering just around the bend
took a quicker pace to see what it was
at the bend there was nothing
the sound has moved to the other end of the carpark
chased after it with a brisk walk
sound grew louder and louder
at the corner of the carpark was a big black lump of fur
was wrong
a rug was hiding something beneath it which moved just before the hammering sound
like a small waist hight hill which had a beating heart on its left
placed a shaking hand on the rug
it moved more vigorously
hammering became faster
placed another hand
got a good hold of the rug
pulled it
surprisingly effortless
and there it was.. . . . .

-FIN-

Petal One

2004-09-14T13:58:00.000+08:00

Straight Out of the Mind

been staring at this window for so long thinking of what to blog about.
thought of a poem, nah. thought of a story, nah. thought of a diary, nah.
just write what's in your head, now. sounds good. i think ill do that.
great supper. corned beef, chicken bits and a good stick of cig.
too many thoughts in my head. cant decide which to write down. used to work better with a pen. getting bored now. think ill just sleep. nothing to write, too much in mind.
wheres a good book when you need one?
oh well.
well what?
phrases i use when i have nothing to say. works sometimes. gives u a couple of seconds to think of something really quick.
how about life? mines boring. unbelievably boring. cant believe i dont have anything to do anymore cept sleep, eat and study.
study.
damn. finals are cuming up on the 14th oct. about 5 weeks left. gotta cram.
i always do this man. i have to stop.
always thought that i will manage. but i struggle like mad in the last sprint.
by the time i finish sprinting for it and actually finish, i think back and actually realize that i could have tried studying in the begining so that i dont have to sprint. and its not so bad.
but does it happen the next sem? nooooo. its a vicous cycle.
cant spell the word vicious. damn.
what happened to sleep?
hmm
guess i found something to blog about.
a whole lot of nonsense.
nonsense. im full of it. i think. who cares? i dont.
wish i had a life. come to think of it feels like im a loser.
am i? should be. really? cant be. i have a wonderful family, good friends, great girlfriend, not much worries and i dont think im a loser. maybe i am. bah. who cares? i dont.
sleep? maybe. in time. but i think the time is now. so be it.

-FIN-