Petal Seventeen

Are you Religious, Mike?

someone asked me that recently.
i havent thought about that in a very very long time.
but what does it mean to be religious?
i really dont know. i thought i did. but i dont.
i thought it meant doing all the stuff that the faith asked us to do.
i did do those things.
well the easy ones at least.
stuff like going to church, going for confession & praying.
that was the easy part.
there was even a time in my life that i went to church everyday.
there was even a time in my life that i went for confession regularly.
there was even a time in my life that i prayed at least twice a day and went for prayer meetings at least twice a week.
and when i mean pray, i dont mean hope for something to happen.
just pray.
but did that make me a better man?
i dont think so.
after i came out of the church, confession or prayer, i was still the same man.
nothing changed.
nothing at all.
i lived a hypocrite's life.
to err is human.
yes.
and i erred a lot.
i confessed my errs.
but i did them again.
so what was the point?
the church could not change the way i see things and the way i felt things.
they eventually became routine.
many of the people around me show no difference.
infact, some of them are worse.
some perform acts and rituals that are likely done by the devout ones.
and what do they do after that?
they gossip
they insult
they say , therefore think, of dirt
they lie
they look down upon others
they cheat
they close their minds
and for what?
because they know that all sins will be forgiven?
because they enjoy the feeling of remorse?
i honestly dont know.
they do the exact same things that other less religious people do.
a lie straight in the face of the faith.
infact, the same person who posed me that question is no different.
so am i religious?
i think someone has to explain to me first exactly what being religious means.
then i can give an answer.



-FIN-